I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
