Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize