I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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