and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
