Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't deserve a penis
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
