i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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