How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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