No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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