Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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