We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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