now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize