school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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