Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
