im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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