My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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