No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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