Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
