I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize