All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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