You can't special order awesome
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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