you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
