I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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