i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
