I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
