When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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