my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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