I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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The air was thick with penises
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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