I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize