I'm really into asian looking animals
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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