I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
