I love having hate sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
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I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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