You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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