hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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