32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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