I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize