Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
