based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
