I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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