very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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