the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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