do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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