white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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