Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
