I want to make a zoo with you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So vagazzling was a success
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
