Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
