she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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