Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
