so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
