i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
