This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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