On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
