I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
