I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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