We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
